A few days ago, I noticed a discussion where a man confessed that he is in a depressed mood at the age of 32, because he recently lost his job, house and car, he was forced to move in with his parents and he still hasn't been able to start his own family. Some of the participants in the discussion tried to comfort and encourage the young man, saying that everything will be fine and that everything is still ahead of him. Others, on the other hand, shared their personal experiences, saying that many years ago they were in a similar situation with similar feelings, but life soon settled down. There were also people who admitted that they are currently in a similar situation and are also saddened by the fact that many things that were once planned did not turn out as they wanted. However, it wasn't really clear whether these people were worried because these were things they really longed for, or because it was their duty to get these things at a certain age.
There is a feeling that people today are trying to adapt their desires to the standards set by society and to squeeze the big events of their lives into the time frame that is not written anywhere, but exists in society. But where is personal happiness in all this? And can living by society's standards lead to inner satisfaction?
The unwritten laws of society, by which every person is advised to live, have always existed. A hundred years ago, it was important to secure a good marriage, where the chosen partner must not come from a lower class of society, otherwise there was a risk of social condemnation, and who wanted that then? In the 1950s, it was desirable for women to get married early and start a family to avoid being labeled a "spinster". But today you are considered successful and loved if you have managed to create a visually interesting life that you can show your followers on social networks.
The prevailing assumptions of how life should be in every age are usually passed down from generation to generation, cultivated in families and society as a whole, and are often accompanied by the claim that following certain guidelines will have positive consequences and that some part of our happiness will be satisfied. For example, when looking for a partner, make sure that he has a higher education, because it is an important part of a person's quality, or it is not recommended to have children very late because you will be an old mother and what will those around you say about it? And then there are social networks, where people post the part of their lives that is beautiful, but hide the part that is not attractive at all, thus suggesting that their life is almost perfect. There are several living examples where a young woman whose husband is extremely violent, posts harmonious family photos on social networks, or an influencer who gives her followers the impression that she owns a huge and expensive villa, in fact lives in a very small apartment.
The truth is that we often lead our lives in the way that is accepted and should be, mistakenly believing that this will make us happy. To be fair, there are people whose life plans match with society's timeline and requirements, and these people are really happy. But how many are there who just think that meeting standards makes them happy? And finally, there are a lot of people who do not understand, why everything that has been achieved and should have been achieved at a certain age, does not give the expected satisfaction.
The answer seems to lie in how right our motivation is. It is important to understand why we do certain things in our life. Either because it is expected of us, or because we really want them. It means listening to yourself and separating yourself from what the rest of the world considers normal and necessary. And that's why it's always important to ask yourself the right questions. I want to go to university because I need it for my future job, or because all my friends are going to university? Do I want children now because I feel my maternal instinct, or because all other women I know have the children for a long time and I don't want to be different? Do I want a big house because I want my haven of peace, where I can hide from the world, or because I want to prove to those around me that I am more successful than others? If a person is able to give an honest answers, it may turn out that happiness lies in very simple things. Maybe you're happy in your one-bedroom apartment, where you only spend a few weeks a year while traveling the world the rest of the time. Maybe you're happy doing a job that doesn't require a university degree, but your dedication to work is giving such a great result that you're about to turn it into a business soon. And maybe your happiness does not lie in the new car, because actually driving a car causes you fear and discomfort and you prefer to choose other ways of transportation. Other happy people will not think of your choices because they are too busy nurturing their inner joy. And in the end, you are responsible for the fulfilment of your life, and it is your responsibility to live up to your expectations, not the expectations of other people.
Finally, don't compare your life to others and don't waste your time admiring others' achievements. The truth is that many get off their course in life because they are too busy evaluating the events of other people's lives, comparing them to their own, often diminishing the importance of their own achievements. The worst thing a person can do to themselves, is to waste their time constantly comparing. Instead, spend your time on yourself! Invest your time to achieve the things you desire to have. And keep in mind that everyone has their own time and in fact it is impossible to miss anything. Children are born at the age of twenty or forty, it is possible to change a profession at any stage of life, and you can find the true love of life even when you think you are too old for that.
Everything has its time and everything will happen, but the main thing is to surrender to the path of your life and get real satisfaction from it. Your satisfaction. Are you happy?